Day 45 - Catching Fire.

Today as I wait here, my attention is caught by the beautiful framed picture on the wall. It is a painting of some of the mountains in the Lake District, enshrouded by mist; what an atmospheric scene. Today was a little stormy, to say the least. Although we managed a walk around the tarn during a dry spell, we decided not to attempt any uphill climbs. Later, having had a lovely time in one of the many tea shops, we drove up a little pass through the hills, stopping at the top to look at the view. My son and I walked a little way up the hill in the blustery wind. I suddenly found something stirring inside me, a sort of deep yearning. I realised how much I had been missing the mountains! 

I think I have inherited two main loves from my Dad: a passion for music and a love of the great outdoors, and in particular, mountains. Most of our holidays, when I was a child, were spent in Scotland, and I have many happy memories of walking in the hills. There is something so wonderful about the wildness, the feeling of being on top of the world, and the sense of achievement at having conquered the mountain.

I know that the thing which caught my heart at that young age was not actually the act of walking up the mountain, but the awesome sense of the presence of God. It's so strong it's almost tangible.....you can almost taste it! I know that I caught this love from my Dad, and a phrase comes to mind: some things are best caught, not taught! I take no credit for the phrase, because I heard it somewhere, but it is so true. We learn so much in school that is forgotten so quickly, but it's the love of something that we catch from certain teachers that stays with us. In particular I remember an English teacher at school and a music teacher at college who really inspired me.

So we need to catch a love for God. Jesus spent much of His time inspiring twelve men, and some women also, with a passion for knowing Him better. When the fire is stirred in you it will never leave. So catch the fire! And some of us need to stir up the flames which were once so full but are now nearly out. My inner mountaineer was re-invigorated today by simply being there...... get yourself where the presence of God is and start to get hot again!   

Day 44 - Slave or Free?

We travelled to the Lake District today for a short break, but typically, the rain has been coming down in torrents! Still, it's good to be sitting in God's presence, waiting for Him to speak. I'm thinking again about freedom and I'm also thinking about slavery. 

In the story Jesus told about the son who took all his inheritance money early and spent it on wild living, when the lad came to his senses and returned home, he offered himself to his father as a servant, because he felt so ashamed of himself. But the father in the story refused to accept him on those terms and treated him as a most beloved son. This is how our father God sees each one of us. We are His children, not His slaves.

And yet.....so many times in the New Testament the apostles introduce themselves as 'bondservants', or slaves, of Jesus Christ. As it is so clear that Jesus wants us all to have total freedom, why would they do that? I said yesterday that serving self is no life of freedom, so how could serving Jesus be different? The difference is in the choice: we choose to serve. Just as Jesus, at any moment, could have walked away from going to the cross, but chose to do His Father's will, so we choose to do God's will. Instead of bringing rules and laws into our lives, we suddenly become freer than we've ever been, because the power of the Holy Spirit working within us makes it all so easy. It's like driving a car with power steering after years of struggling without it.

But this is not always our experience. The giant of 'selfish desire' rears up in us and we obey its demands, sometimes steamrolling our way over other people as we go. Learning to 'walk in the spirit', as the Bible calls it, (Gal 5:16) takes time and patience. God's got oodles of it.......patience, I mean! So let's not be hard on ourselves. We're getting there!

Day 43 - Flying

I think I've always wanted to fly. I used to love skiing, as a child, though I've not actually had the chance to do it since I was a teenager. The nearest I get to flying these days is whizzing down the hills on my bike with the wind in my hair.....wheee!!! One of my favourite composers (I have many!) is Sibelius, and I sometimes sit with my eyes closed, listening to one of his symphonies, imagining I am gliding over beautiful mountain ranges like an eagle. Flying represents freedom.

Jesus spoke a lot about being free. He said that if we abide in his word, we shall know the truth, and the truth shall make us free. He also said that if He makes us free we will be really free. (See John's gospel chapter 8)

In our society today we talk a lot about the importance of having freedom of speech. But there has never been, nor ever will be, true freedom of speech. We have to fit into the norm of what is fashionable at the time, or we are ostracised and criticised.

True freedom, of course, is the freedom that Jesus offers. It is not the freedom of pleasing ourselves, because our selves are actually hard task masters who are more like slave drivers whom we have no choice but to obey. Nor is it freedom to serve materialism, because living to acquire more and more possessions gets a hold on us and we end up its slave also. The list goes on.... what about serving a skill, like being a committed musician or sports personality? There are rewards, but perfection always eludes us and many find their relationships suffer because of the huge demands on their time and energy.

So what is the freedom that Jesus draws us into? It is actually the freedom not to please ourselves, not to serve money or family or prestige or reputation or perfection. It is a place of being content with what we have, who we are and where we are. Flying. 

Day 42 - The Power of One

Another busy day...... so I'm sitting here in a quiet corner, in between rehearsal and concert, in God's presence, while people walk on by. I'm thinking about a story I read today about a young girl who made such a godly impact on her village that the whole atmosphere of place began to change. This is the power of one life. This is the way to change the world.

The power of one moment. Who knows if that smile you gave turned someone's life around and prevented another suicide? I spoke to an elderly couple tonight who were struggling and needed to find a taxi. All I could do was to point them in the right direction, but a friendly face in the crowd can make all the difference.

The power of one word, spoken in love, could be the encouragement  needed to give the impetus to keep going when a person is near to throwing in the towel.

And the power of one decision - of course the biggest decision - to give a life to the Lord Jesus, to serve His purposes, in the case of an evangelist like Billy Graham, could literally be the difference between life and death to thousands of people.

Lord, help me to value each moment, so I can make the most of every opportunity that comes my way. Each moment, each decision, each word spoken, this one life, lived for love, each day.......  

Day 41 - Relationship

Today, in the stillness, I'm thinking about my relationship with God. How can you have a relationship with a being so high above you in intelligence, in love, in spiritual stature, in power, and someone you can't even see or hear or touch? I suppose the answer is that I just sense His presence with me and hear His voice speaking in my imagination. I have learned to exercise spiritual senses of seeing and hearing and touching and even smelling and tasting. And I know He's there with me, even if sometimes I can't sense His presence. As I read the Bible I learn about His character even if it is like looking through a dark window. 

So prayer is simply communicating with Him through songs, silence, just chatting, asking for things and saying sorry sometimes. It's about being ourselves. But you know, sometimes we haven't spent enough time with ourselves to know who we are, and God actually knows us much better than than we do. It's no good trying to hide anything! But that's the beauty of it: He loves and accepts me warts and all. 

I asked for something recently that didn't happen. I've been reading in John's Gospel (chapter 15) how Jesus says we'll receive what we ask for if we are 'abiding' in Him.....wonderful word, that.....it kind of means settling in a place and making it your home. I'm not worried that my prayer didn't get answered how I wanted it to be, because my relationship with the Lord is more robust than that. I know he has my best interests at heart and I put my trust in His judgment. There are many prayers that do get a 'Yes' from Him, and anyway, I just have to admit that I don't know everything..... yes, I know, it's hard for us to admit that sometimes! 

Once, when I was staying at a pastor's house, I heard him praying in his room, and for a few moments I eavesdropped on the landing! His prayer was so simple, coming from this spiritual giant, and I was quite taken aback. He was simply asking God to bless certain members of his congregation. Let's not complicate things... here are three facts: I don't know everything, He does, and He loves me. That'll do for me. 

Day 40 - For us.

Over the last few days I have found myself thinking about why it was that Jesus needed to die on the cross, so naturally, as I come into God's presence today, I bring my thoughts and questions to Him. I don't understand much about life, the universe and everything...... (even if the answer is 42!...for the uninitiated, read 'Hitch hiker's Guide to the Galaxy!')) But there are some things I know in my 'knower'!

• I know, looking at creation, that if there is a God, then He has to be good - there simply is too much beauty around for any other possibility to be viable. 
• I know that the presence of evil permeates human nature in such a way that it is not possible to extricate it, in the same way that once too much salt has been added to a meal, you cannot take it out.

So here is God's predicament: how could He release humanity from the grip of evil and death without destroying us? It is true that He could have made robots who would just obey His every command, but He wanted us to be free to choose. OK.... so He decided He wasn't going to destroy us, so His next option was to destroy death and nullify its power over us.

God cannot die, it is completely opposed to His nature, which is the personification of life itself. He had to actually become human in order to take on death, rather like Hercules had to fight Cerberus to get back from the Underworld. (It's amazing how some of these old legends can have some truth mingled in with the stories.)

So Jesus had to die in order to come back to life. It was through His resurrection that death was dealt that final blow! Death couldn't hold Him, and now it will not hold us!

Maybe the reason for dying that particular death on the cross will be the subject of another time, but it is enough for now to know the truth of the words from the first letter of John (chapter 3) in the Bible:

'By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.'

Day 39 - Rich and Poor

My time of waiting on God has been in two stages today. I spent half of it in the middle of the night, where I spent most of it in prayer about various things and for people. This afternoon, as I sit here, I find myself meditating on the schism between the rich and the poor. 

We are each dealt a hand in life. We have no say in what circumstances we find ourselves in or what family we are born into; it is what we do with it that is important. I don't believe it was ever God's intention for any of us to suffer in the way that so many have done over the years throughout the world. OK, I know it's the 'free will'' argument over the people who question, 'How can there be a God of love if there is so much suffering in the world?' This is not the theme of my blog today. Rather, it is to do with the relationship between the rich and the poor.

Rich people sometimes blame the poor for being lazy when often it is simply not the case (as in a mother who has to hold down a day job and an evening job to keep her family alive) or they mistrust their motives (as in the recent publicity about benefit fraud). It is true we have to find a way of giving the poor dignity so that they are not just receiving free hand-outs but able to earn their way out of poverty, however, the rich need to understand the great leg up they have had by being born into a wealthier home. On the part of the poor, they sometimes greatly despise the rich: how much people have criticised the bankers, and the M.P.'s for using their expenses allowance unlawfully, when many people are happy to call off sick when they want a day off work or claim for more than they are due. 

We do have a very unequal society where people are valued by how much money they have, and greater academic results (and better schooling) is rewarded financially whereas hard working carers, shop assistants and manual workers earn so much less. How do we decide a person's worth? 

The Kingdom of God, although not a socialist democracy, is a place where all people are equal, all giftings are recognised and valued, and any who have money should bless those who are lacking. In this world at present we will have inequality, there will be the 'orphans and widows' just like there were in Jesus' day, children brought up in dysfunctional families who drop out of school, and those suffering from ill health who cannot work, but those of us who have money should be generous. And let us not despise the rich, but thank God for benefactors and those who are willing to use their money for good.