Day 35 - What a Creator!

As everyone is out this evening, I decide to have my time with God in the bath. I feel so relaxed, lying here surrounded by the soothing warm water. It's so quiet, but when I put my head under the water I can hear my own heart beating. I think about the little baby in the womb I saw recently in an internet video, filmed in an ultra sound examination. The little thing was pushing itself off the walls of the womb with its little feet and seemed to be playing and having fun. Life is wonderful. This gets me thinking about when it begins. 

People think that a baby is not really a person until it is fully formed, that it is simply a collection of growing cells. So.... there must be a point at which the 'thing' becomes human. In the Bible it says in the book of Genesis that God 'breathed the breath of life' into Adam, and he became a living being. There may be some people who think you're not really alive until you are breathing. When I was a child, I was not fully formed. My thought processes were not mature and my body was smaller, but all the way through I was 'me', sure enough, and even though I cannot remember much of my early years, I know I was human. My belief is that our humanity begins the moment sperm penetrates egg and an explosion of life takes place: not fully formed but 100% human. 

Here's my second thought.... Are you a 'creationist' or an 'evolutionist'? When did humanity begin? I don't know for certain whether Moses wrote the book of Genesis, but I do know that he wasn't around when God created the earth, and yet I believe that he was inspired by God to write the story. Yes...I use the word 'created' because I believe in a creator God, through whom all things came to be. And I believe totally in the Bible and have come to rely completely on its wisdom. I find the book of Genesis more and more fascinating the more I read it. But none of us was there in the beginning. However, I do not think it wise to pick and choose which Bible stories we believe and which we don't believe. I believe in Adam and Eve, in the great flood and in all the miraculous provision of the story of Moses leading the people of Israel though the desert. I also believe in the resurrection of Jesus. Miracles happen. 

But I don't think God ever intended to give us every detail - our brains are very small when it comes to understanding, But one thing I do know..... we are made different to other living creatures. We are more than our intelligence, we are spiritual beings with a soul and we are made for relationship with our creator. The eclipse of the sun was fun, yesterday, wasn't it? What a creation! What a creator!

Day 34 - Facing Giants

Interesting, isn't it, that after yesterday's blog an old fear should raise its head in my life. I sit. tonight, in God's presence and ask Him for help. Lots of thoughts immediately come flooding into my mind.... I'm going to try and verbalise them for you.

There are giants ready to intimidate us if we let them. Here are a few:

Fear - paralyses us and robs us of joy.

Lust - a strong desire for someone or something that completely overwhelms us.

Envy - Similar to lust, we find we MUST HAVE what belongs to others....at any cost.

Despair - engulfs us in a bubble so anything anyone does to try and help us is completely useless.

Anger - overtakes us like a strong man and any attempt to fight it is feeble when it rears its head.

Hate - all consuming, it becomes our life's purpose.

There are many more, but I felt that these are the big ones. Well, I looked at the Bible story of David facing the giant Goliath and a few thoughts came. Firstly the old YWAM (Youth With A Mission) phrase seems important here: 'come in the opposite spirit'. This is what David did. The giant came towards him completely covered in armour and carrying the best weapons a fighter could have..... and he was really strong.... and BIG! So David runs towards him and all he has is a slingshot and a handful of small stones. Opposite spirit.... David had no armour. But he did have faith and if his faith was wavering he didn't show it - he spoke out words of faith to Goliath, "This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you." Strong words from a lad facing a super-large trained fighter! What we say out loud is more important than we think. But the giant had a weak spot! ....and David hit it, with his first stone.

OK - back to our giants. Here are a few ideas of how to throw a little stone at them:

Fear - first we have to run towards it, like David did. (All our being will want to run away or cower at its feet) Actually, fear likes to hide in the shadows and thrives on the unknown... so expose it! Name it and speak words of faith. Then throw your stone, not forgetting to use your slingshot (faith), with which it will travel at greater speed and accuracy. So what is the stone? Laughter... just laugh at it, and sing your heart out in praise to God! That's a good way of throwing stones at most giants! Here are some other ideas you could try with the other ones:

Lust, greed and envy - try giving away what seems to have such a hold on us. By giving we will dislodge the stronghold of grasping greed.

Despair - seriously, try dancing. It is the opposite of what you feel like right now, but it works, I've tried it.

Anger - there's a desire to control here, so in submitting to others is our saving help.

Hate - what else but loving against the odds can break the stronghold of hate in our lives. It's a decision to be kind when all your being wants revenge.

So ..... sorry it's so long tonight, but I thought it needed a little more than usual. And as I said last night, sometimes we need help from others, be they friends, pastors or trained counsellors. I finish my time tonight with rather a loud song of praise.... with the cat on my knee!

Day 33 - Finish the Job.

As I sit here tonight, I become aware of something.... I have more-or-less stopped biting my nails. This has happened over the course of the last few weeks, as I have been spending more time with the Lord. Maybe I have been feeling more peaceful, because I know it tends to spring from an inner agitation. I definitely feel more peaceful. But when I say 'more-or-less', I mean that there is one finger I keep picking at.... the little one on my right hand. This gets me thinking.

It seems to be a hard thing to completely finish something. After we'd built an extension to our home and done all the decorating ...... what a lot there was to do!......there was a skirting board that never quite got finished. I think it was a number of years before we actually got round to finishing the job! In the history books of the Bible it tells the story of Israel and Judah and of their kings. Some of the kings were pretty bad, and some of them were good, but for quite a few of the good ones it says they 'did what was right in the eyes of the Lord', but later it says they 'did not remove the high places' (eg., see 1 Kings 15:14). So they did a lot of good and followed God's instructions, but still allowed people to worship false gods on the high places. Why? Maybe they thought it wasn't important ('out of sight, out of mind'), or maybe they wanted to please the people, or maybe they simply ran out of steam! (For non Brits that just means they got tired!) Whatever the reason, they just didn't finish the job they set out to do which was to make the land a place where the Lord was King. They left a bit. 

Some of us have places in our hearts where we don't allow God access. Maybe there's a difficult relationship we have swept under the carpet, maybe there's a secret addiction we would rather no one knew about, or it could be an ongoing fear that we can't shake off. We kind of get used to having these things in our lives and find it difficult to believe that we could change. 

I believe that God wants us to be one hundred percent whole and healed! The first step is to admit to the Lord and to ourselves that we need help. Prayer is always a good starting point. However, sometimes we need to ask for help from others, and that can take a lot of courage. I believe it's worth it.

Day 32 - Called

When I was a young Catholic we used to talk about our 'vocation'. This meant the direction in life we would go as called by Almighty God. For some this would mean the 'religious' life, for others marriage and family, for others it would specifically refer to their job - doctor, teacher, nurse, missionary, hairdresser, etc. When my sister asked me, as a ten or eleven year old, what I wanted to be when I grew up, I had two things in mind: a violinist or a nun. The former won the toss.... although.... there was a calling from God there to come to Jesus and live my life for Him, and I have never looked back after doing so at the age of nineteen.

These days it seems that the main driving force behind our children's life choices is to do with self. They are asked questions such as these: what are their strengths; what sort of lifestyle do they prefer; and what will make the most money? Sadly, many make no reference to God in their life choices, nor do they even consider whether they can do some good in the world. 

A calling can also be to do with lifestyle as well as career. Some people have given themselves to fostering children, housing asylum seekers, simply bringing up their family as best they can, being generous with their money or using their home to show hospitality to friends and family. I have seen my gift as a musician as also a calling from God. I believe music has a power to draw people into a closer relationship with God as it demonstrates so much of his glorious creation and the beauty of His nature. 

Sometimes, though, I have looked at others who work in the caring professions, or who work oversees helping the poor, and I have wondered about the choice I have made. "Would it not have been more worthy to do something more practical to help the world?" I have asked myself. But I don't think it is right to compare ourselves with others.

In the end it comes down to calling. What have I done with what God has given me? And new callings can come at any moment in our lives; they are not solely for the young. maybe God is calling you to something new? Why not ask Him now?

Day 31 - Still Here!

Tonight as I sit in God's presence I am thinking to myself, "What's the point? Is God even here? I've taken on more than I can handle here, and my poor family has to keep putting up with me disappearing off on my own.... and to top it all, I just keep nodding off in my chair, I can't keep awake! Am I really waiting on God or am I just wrapped up in my own thoughts?"

Maybe you've found yourself doubting a venture you're embarking on and find yourself, like me, losing heart. Well, this morning I read Psalm 27 and the verses at the end suddenly came back to me. Here they are:

'I would have lost heart unless I had believed

That I would see the goodness of the Lord

In the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord;

Be of good courage

And He shall strengthen your heart;

Wait, I say, on the Lord!'

God wants us to have strong hearts. Sometimes we get it muddled up and think the best way is to harden our heart. But, actually, a hard heart can smash whereas a strong heart bends like a tree in the wind. A strong heart can be hurt, oh yes, but how much better to allow our heart to hurt a little than to keep people at arm's length and shut out love from our lives.

So I'm still here, Lord, waiting for you. 

Day 30 - Words

There are many ways of communicating with others. We say 'I love you' when we hug and kiss, 'I reject you' when we refuse to look at someone or spend time with them, 'I'm happy to meet you' when we smile and 'keep your distance' when we scowl. Sometimes we try to hide what we're feeling on the inside when we speak. We might say how much we enjoyed someone's party when in reality we felt lonely and couldn't wait for it to end, or we might praise a person who we think will be influential in our next career move, even if we actually despise them and think they're incompetent. Words. 

But words are powerful. With them we create and with them we tear down. Jesus said that every careless word that a person speaks will go before them and be weighed by our Father God on judgment day. That's a scary thought. Jesus also said that what we say flows directly from what is on the deep inside part of us. He described a person to be like a tree bearing fruit: a good tree will bear good fruit and a diseased tree will not. In the letter of James in the Bible he wonders how can it be possible that we build people up with our words one moment and tear them down the next? 

I want to be a 'good tree'. I have done and said many hurtful things in the past, some intentional and some merely thoughtless. But I have brought the shreds of my own efforts to be good, to the foot of the Cross, and I have known what it feels like to be forgiven, and it feels good.... it feels clean. Lord Jesus, I am sorry for the people I have hurt in my life, but I'm moving on now. My new name will be ' Encourager'; my new name will be 'Hope Breather'; my new name will be 'Light Bringer'; my new name will be 'Caring' and 'Compassionate Giver.' What will yours be?

Day 29 - Can't Stay Here.

One thing is for certain...... we can't stay here. 

As I am waiting here, a little sentence from the end of chapter 14 of John's gospel comes to mind. Jesus says, "Let's get up and go from here now."

Last Friday we had a fun time playing a concert in a beautiful church near Redditch and we played an arrangement of a lovely song by Patsy Burton, 'Arise, my love.' The words are from the book in the Bible called the 'Song of Songs' or the 'Song of Solomon' and they are the words of the man to his beloved, "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. 

The flowers appear on the earth and the time of singing has come."

Time marches on and life keeps changing, rather like the clouds on a windy day. But sometimes we need a nudge to move on before circumstances force us to change. As a student, I lived in a lovely big Victorian house with six other students and when I got my first job after my course had finished, I stayed on, living in the house. Only a couple of months down the line we had a massive house fire, and although none of us was hurt, we all had to find alternative accommodation. This led to a set of circumstances that brought me and my husband together. It was time for me to move on.

Maybe it's time for you to move on. Maybe you've been in that job you hate for long enough and it's time to take a step of faith and  hand in your notice. Maybe you're in an abusive relationship and it's time to acknowledge that you need to walk away from it. Like the beloved in the scripture above, there are better things on the horizon and it's time to move. Maybe you're so comfortable where you are, that so much that could be, or so much that you could become, might be lost  because you're too scared to accept change.

However, not all change is easy. When Jesus said, "OK, it's time to move from here," he was walking further towards his capture and ultimate death at the hands of the Romans. In the 23rd psalm it says, 'If I walk through the valley of the shadow (of death) I will fear no evil for you will be with me, your shepherd's rod and staff will comfort me.' Wherever life takes us, we know we're never alone, and we're only passing through!.... at some point we'll reach the end of the valley!. I'll leave you with some words from one of the Narnia books by C.S.Lewis (sorry, I can't remember exactly where!):

'Arise and let us go and take the adventure that Aslan sends us!'